I'm Not Ready For The Future


Hey guys! I have been having some weird thoughts and today, one of them really stuck with me. The thought of the future. I am not ready for the future at all. I'm not ready to go high school, I'm not ready to leave my friends in elementary school (even though we are all going to go to the same high school), I am not ready to forget Aid, and I am for sure not ready to be forgotten by tons of people including Aid. The thought of moving to a giant school full of 1400 students scares me, the thought of having to start over and make new friends is terrifying. I am scared. I am not ready at all. These are the thoughts that keep me crying and up at night for hours on end. Everything, all the things that happened this year will mean nothing next year. It will all mean nothing. All the Skype calls, Oovoos, video game playing and an awkward bike ride with Aid will be forgotten in a heart beat. My Christmas present from Dan will be forgotten, all of the fun and amazing times I will have had on my grad trip (no I haven't gone on it yet) will be forgotten. All of it. Everyone thinks I'm overreacting, but they haven't looked at the situation or even thought about it like I have. The thought of ending up seeing Aid and everyone again when I'm like 40 and talking about the memories that stuck with us for that long just makes me so sad. I don't know what to do. I am for sure gonna hug Aid and literally everyone in my school on the last day of school. The reason I keep mentioning Aid is because I am probably going to miss him the most. He was my first ever crush, my feeling for him developed even more this year. More than I ever imagined. I hope I don't forget about him and he doesn't forget about him. We don't Skype anymore, we won't for a while. At least that's what I think. I will just wait and see.

Thank you so much for reading! Join my blog to be notified when I make a new post and I will see you later. Do you think you are ready for the future? Let me know in the comments. Byeee!

XOXO Bella

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